


Cid, the stubborn mule who saved Eos

by Shiary



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Cid being an old mule, Cid saves Eos by being stubborn, Cid's Potty Mouth, Comedy, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:06:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22063006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shiary/pseuds/Shiary
Summary: 5 times Cid out-stubborned the astrals. And the one time he outsnarked Bahamut.
Comments: 25
Kudos: 156





	Cid, the stubborn mule who saved Eos

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NervousOtaku](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NervousOtaku/gifts), [BarefootBassist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarefootBassist/gifts).
  * Inspired by [First Lightning, Then Thunder](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18114572) by [NervousOtaku](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NervousOtaku/pseuds/NervousOtaku). 



> Happy new year! I wish everyone a wonderful 2020!

1) Titan

Cid stared at Titan, arms crossed and firmly ignoring the two boys frolicking in the old tomb.

Titan stared back, unblinking as ever.

Cid glanced back, eyes softening slightly as he saw Cor try to restrain Regis from warping out into the canyon itself. The Kid was probably the most adult of the lot, which was a tragedy since the Kid was supposed to be a kid.

He turned back to the Astral they’d come to see in the first place and spoke, quietly but without hesitation. “I don’t know why the thrice damned prophecy asks for the death of my friend but I ain’t about to let it happen just cuz some asshole decided it had to be so.”

Titan remained unmoved, not that Cid expected much from a supposed divine being who was stupid enough to be still holding a damned rock, thousands of years after he could have let it go. He scoffed to himself, “Might as well ask ya. Why are you still holding that piece of shit meteor? It ain’t falling any longer. Ya could easily just drop it on the ground and leave like the rest of the Thrice-damned Astrals have.”

Shouting made Cid sigh and turn away from Titan. “Assholes. The lot of them.”

Clarus was trying to climb down the sides of the Disk of the Cauthesse to rescue the stranded princeling. Cid grumbled under his breath as he walked over to Weskham, “How did the princeling get stuck this time?”

Weskham took a sip of his cup and shrugged, unconcerned. “Regis wanted to take a closer look at Titan’s ass for some reason. He did not remember the lava at the bottom of the canyon, nor the anti-magic properties the meteorite holds.”

“Serves the brat right. Maybe now he’ll stop being an ass.” Cid took the offered coffee with a smirk. “Kid! Leave the assholes alone and come eat!” Cor hesitated for a moment before coming over to stand with them.

As the three watched Clarus’ attempts to climb down to Regis’ rescue, they did not notice the first signs of change from a changeless being. 

The first blink after millenias of sleep. 

The first moment of wakefulness.

The first attempt to move.

The earth rumbled as Titan shifted the weight of the meteor from his shoulders to the ground.

"Shiva's tits! What's going on?" Cid grumbled, grabbing Cor by the back of his shirt and dragging him further away from the collapsing edge. "Reggie!Clarus!"

"We're good!" Clarus' voice sounded strangled as it rose from the canyon.

Weskham exchanged a worried glance with Cid as Titan slowly got up for the first time in ages. The Astral looked around for a few moments before his gaze landed on Cid.

"Mother fuc…" Cid barely got the time to swear as a huge hand came his way, grabbed him and the Kid, and lifted them hundreds of feet off the ground. "Fucking asshole bastard! Let us go ya big ugly…" 

A rumbling, migraine inducing sound filled his head. Cid ignored the pain in favor of checking on the Kid who was curled up in a miserable ball, hands clasped on either side of his head. "Stupid Astral! Either talk normally or don't talk at all!" The rumbling stopped and the giant fingers opened to expose them to the cold air.

Cid twisted, ready to yell some more. A giant eye blinked at him slowly. "What?" Cid grumbled, rising to his feet and crossing his arms. "If ya got something to say then say it like a normal person already. No need for ya to be an ass about it."

Titan blinked again. If Titan had been anything but an astral, Cid would have called the look in his eyes confused. As it was, Cid kept scowling and waited.

Then words. Hesitant and slow.

 _You...are...odd…_ Cid opened his mouth to retort. _But...you...speak...wisely...I…will…return...to...the...others…._

"Hey! Ya'd better put us down before ya leave! Cuz I ain't going to be happy if we go splat." Cid demanded only to be grabbed by the Kid as Titan started moving. Cid grumbled as they were roughly dropped by Regis' and Clarus' feet.

"Cid!Cor! Are you two alright?"

"We're fine Reggie. Don't get your panties in a knot." Cid grumbled as he pushed himself up, turned to make sure the Kid was okay then turned to grump at the idiotic astral.

Only to stare at an empty Disk of Cauthesse.

"About time." 

  
  


* * *

2) Ramuh

  
Cid crossed his arms and glared at Ramuh. “No.”

“I haven’t said anything.”

“Don’t care. Whatever ya want, just get out and leave me alone.” Cid grabbed a wrench and turned back to continue tuning up the old truck his daughter kept driving everywhere.

Silence returned his words but Cid could still feel the crackling energy that was the Fulgarien. Grumbling about the damned six who had nothing better to do than bother an old man, Cid proceeded to ignore the Astral.

Minutes turned to hours as Cid lost himself in his work. Cleaning the engine, readjusting the wheels, checking the headlamps; all with the consistent but ignored stared piercing his back.

“Why do you spend so much time doing such a useless task?” Ramuh’s words pierced the silence.

Cid straightened, turning as he cleaned his hand to glare at the idiotic being that dared insult his job. “Useless? The fuck did you just say!”

Ramuh raised a brow, his face as impassive as always. “The machine you repair will simply break down again. It is a fruitless endeavor. Why do you perform such meaningless task?”

Cid leaned against the truck, his arms crossed as he decided whether he wanted to waste his tie speaking with an asshole. But then again, it wasn’t everyday Cid had the opportunity to school an Astral.

“It ain’t fruitless asshole.” Cid grumbled. “Machine like these-” He patted the good old truck with one hand. “- help folk survive, thrive and enjoy life. Without engines running, ambulances wouldn’t be able to rush to save lives. Trains allow family to visit each other even if they live very far apart. Repairing these worthy engines...” Cid shook his head. “It’s always worth it even if the idiots driving it end up destroying them.”

Ramuh watched Cid for several minutes before he spoke. “I see. The inevitable decay does not scare you. Rather you embrace it.... Yes. I see.” And then, Ramuh disappeared within a blink of an eye.

Cid opened his mouth, closed it and shook his head. “Damn Astral. Can’t do a damn thing without being told to.”

* * *

3) Shiva

Cid took a single look outside, turned around and went straight to his cup of coffee. “Nope. Not dealing with another asshole.”

The wind blew snow and hail against the window. A sudden snow storm in the middle of summer plus the dancing figures outside told Cid more than he wanted to know about who was responsible. “Stupid astral. What did Reggie do this time?”

“We are not here because of the prince of Lucii.” A tall lady walked in through the wall. “We are here to discuss with the Wise One.”

Cid scoffed, rolling his eyes at the astral. “Maybe tell the Brat that. Who knows, maybe a miracle’ll happen and he’ll listen ta me for once.”

“Ramuh and Titan have both spoken well of you, Wise One. I wished to see for myself how one such as you were able to cause such change in them.” The lady stepped closer and tilted her head to one side. “Tell us what makes you so special as to bring two of the Astral to argue with the Bladekeeper?”

“I ain’t special Lady.” Cid turned his back to her and pored more coffee. “So buzz off cuz I ain’t interested in talking with ya.” Then under his breath. “Its too early for this kind of stupidity.”

Cid decided to ignore his guest and continue with his morning routine. He checked for any messages, called his daughter then washed his cup. With that over, he headed into his shop to start working. The lady followed.

He had three cars to work on that morning. None of them were particularly difficult to fix, just tedious to do for most folks. Cid turned on his radio, fiddling with it until he got to a station he enjoyed.

The storm kept blowing outside, rattling the garage with every gust. Still Cid carried on like it was nay other day. Fixing the cars. Helping Takka with the hunters. Getting some paperwork done before stopping for lunch.

The lady stood by the entrance, eyes closed and serene. Cid brushed part her without a word, determined to ignore her because he was not giving in to their so-called prophecy.

“You do not care for much.”

Cid looked through his fridge for something to eat. The lady spoke again. “Why do you not seek a place by your prince?” Cid found some cockatrice leftovers and moved to heat them up. “You are quite the odd one.” Cid ate.

The storm stopped slowly, as the afternoon wore on with Cid continuing to ignore the lady behind him. Until finally the Lady disappeared with a few parting words. “None has ignored me before and yet... You have spoken without word. Truly, you are wise.”

Cid rolled his eyes, grabbed his hat and walked out to meet his new grandaughter.

* * *

4) Ifrit

The Kid had called and Cid had answered, because what else was he supposed to do? Not go help the Kid? Ya right.

Still, what was the Kid doing in the middle of nowhere Duscae? The answer came in the form of an airship.

“Kid! What kind of trouble did ya get yourself inta this time?” Cid grumbled goodnaturedly.

The Kid dodged Cid’s attempt to ruffle his hair and grumbled back. “Not my fault the airship decided to break.” Cid scoffed and followed the Kid into the airship. The Kid waved at the smoking, slash-filled onsole. “Can you do something about it?”

Cid smacked the Kid across the head. “The fuck did ya do to this beauty you brat? Look at her! It’s going to take me forever to repair her...” Dropping his tools on the pilot seat, Cid proceeded to check under the console.

After some fiddling about, Cid got back up with a groan, slapping away the Kid’s attempt to help him up. “I can’t fix it now Kid. The console’s busted and I don’t have the parts to fix it. Would’ve to order it .”

The Kid frowned, fiddling with his katana. “Damn it.” Without another word, the Kid turned and walked into the cargo hold. Cid hesitated a moment before following the Kid. Only to stare at the massive being kept on ice.

“Is that... The Infernian?” Cid walked closer. He whistled as he walked around the giant, frozen astral. “What are ya doing with this thing?”

The Kid shifted from one foot to the other. “Found him in Gralea...”

Cid twirled to stab a finger at the Brat. “The fuck were ya doing there Kid? Trying to get yourself killed?” The Kid took a step back, shaking his head and raised his hands up. “Well? Answer me Kid!”

“I’m not trying to get myself killed you stubborn old man! I found him like that in the middle of a wrecked base! What else was I supposed to do? Leave it to Niflheim to turn into one of their weapons?”

Cid crossed his arms and glared at the reckless Kid. “Fine. Ya did the right thing this time. But I hope you ain’t thinking about bringing this fella into Insomnia?”

The Kid looked awkward. Cid scoffed, “Ya didn’t plan this at all, did ya. Um, best get him unfrosted quick and out of the way.”

“What? What are you planning Old Man?” The Kid said, hurrying to catch up with Cid.

Cid grinned and told him.

And that was how Cid found himself glaring at Ifrit on top of Ravataugh Mountain with the Kid by his side. “Look asshole. If ya got a problem, bring it up with the people who kicked your ass and buried ya in ice. It ain’t our business and I don’t give a damn about your sorry ass. As far as I’m concerned? The Six are all idiots that deserve a good trashing.”

Cid grabbed the Kid by the arm and started the descent without letting the burning idiot say anything.

* * *

5) Leviathan

Cid took one look at the serpent rising from the sea, blinked, and changed his rod for a harpoon. He was not arguing with a goddess known for hating people more than he did.

Reggie’s scream of fear as he saw Cid resting on top of a pinned Leviathan was worth the broken rib.

* * *

  
  


6) Bahamut

Cid walked into the Crystal hall, having one thing to say to the stupid fuck inside. The cries of a newborn child echoed through his mind. A kid. A god-damned kid born under Bahamut’s star.

Ya, no. Cid was too old not to trust his gut.

“I don’t give a damn about your plans, your prophecy, or your failures. I’m going to be damned clear with ya all. You touch one hair of that boy and I’ll personally wreck the lot of ya.”

Cid blinked and looked around, unimpressed by the void surrounding him.

Six large figures circled him, figures he was all too familiar with. He raised a brow, crossed his arms and waited.

And waited.

And waited some more. IF the Six thought he’d break first then they had another thing coming. Cid could wait plenty if it meant pissing them off.

Finally Bahamut spoke. “You threatened us-”

“Sure did. What’ya going to do about it?”

A chuckle from Ifrit that was hurriedly shushed by Shiva.

Bahamut cleared his throat. “You threatened-”

“Ya already said that. Are ya losing yar memory? Cuz its normal for us old folks to forget stuff ya know.”

This time he clearly heard a snort coming from where Titan stood.

Bahamut glared at the offender. Opened his mouth. “Y-”

“Blah, blah blah. I don’t care. If ya want to kill me then kill me, don’t talk about it. Just do it. Then I’ll be able to badger ya for the rest of eternity.” Cid grinned wickedly. “Sounds like fun if ya ask me.”

Bahamut’s jaw slammed shut and Cid glowed under the stunned silence. “Well? Ya going to do something or what?” Cid raised a brow mockingly.

Two days later, Cid stood with his family by the edge of the garage as the stars filled the sky. Everyone was optimistic since the unexplained disappearance of the scourge that followed the brilliant light of last evening.

As for Cid, he was just happy Reggie was picking his head out of his ass now that that wife of his was back to full health.

“Pardon me sir?” A strange man got up from his old looking car. “Is it possible to fill her up?” Cid’s fingers itched to look under the hood of that beauty. Maybe he’d be able to do so after convincing the guy to stay overnight....


End file.
